I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
