you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
