You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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