ugly people sure do ruin things
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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