I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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