yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
