god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Randomize
