I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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