is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i barfeds in our rink
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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