I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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