that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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