Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
