I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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