He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
