so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
