she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
