She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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