as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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