I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
