No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
