I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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