Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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