i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
