You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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