Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
