at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
