mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize