i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
