Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
