At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
