Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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