Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
