I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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