I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
