I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
