He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
