Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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