I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The uberlube is also flammable
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
