where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
