Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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