I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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