you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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