her vagine was all disorganized.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
