return my video game
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
