So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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