She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
