it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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