Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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