You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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