I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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