I think scott just propositioned me for sex
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
