Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
BRING THE BAGELS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
