i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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